Plow survey

SMr. PlownOMyGod! Perhaps you heard we had an epic, one-for-the-recordbooks snowstorm. Of course, I know you are well aware of this because for two days straight, all you listserv folks did was sell and barter snowpants.

Anyway, now that we’re all snowed in and cranky and liquored up, it’s time to start complaining about the speed, process and location of snow removal.

<pops popcorn>

The four stages of snow acceptance, according to the Beverley Hills Listserv:

1. Disbelief and dismay

I have seen several plows but unfortunately none of them have been plowing when I see them, and they are just leaving single-lane roads. I’m surprised more progress has not been made.

When you consider the city taxes we pay – and the increases incurred in years when the housing market was weak — this is really dismal.

2. Conspiracy theories

Listserv regular “Donna” comes out of hibernation:

Hmmm, does someone on the City Council live on Alabama???

3. Gratitude

Let’s all play Pollyanna’s glad game. I’m thankful that:

1. I have power
2. I have heat
3. I have groceries so I can eat
4. I have internet so I can post this message

The snowstorm this past weekend was of historic nature. It’s not a few inches of snow. It takes time to dig out. Give the city workers a break…they’re now dealing with a water main break on King and Quaker.

We all need to be grateful for what we have, rather than what we don’t have.

4. Nope, screw that gratitude crap

First entry in the glad game:

Well I’m glad they are working so hard, and I am sure they are. And earning a living. I am not. I would like to be able to get out to pay for those wonderful things: heat, internet etc. But I can’t.

For the record, *my* street is plowed. Clearly the City wants to stay on my good side.

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Pair of snowpants rotting in closet since 1973, $12

Used snow pants
NOPE.

In advance of the epic snowstorm, it seems that the entirety of Beverley Hills is planning on paying off their mortgages or financing their snow day boozing by selling off their used snow items for $5 to $25 a pop.

After 75 of these emails by 9:49 am, I hopeful that a black market crops up. By day two of the snow storm, I envision folks running out of food and bartering with snow gear.

Yeah, I’ve got milk. How many snowpants will you trade for it?!