A gentle warning: Watch out for unpicked up dog poop

<popcorn!>

I will start by noting that my Google search history is forever ruined by the phrase “image of person throwing dog poop.”

So…it seems the ridiculously rainy spring has finally drove the residents to the brink.

Yes, that’s right, dog poop posts are back.

And this time, the poop is *airborne*.

Watch out for unpicked up dog poop. I was parking my car in front of my home a few minutes ago when I saw a couple with a small dog pooping in front of my house. They rushed off when they saw me. When I got out of the car, I saw a big blob of dog poop on the sidewalk.

[Editor’s Note: I love how the poor grammar makes it seem as though the *couple* was pooping in her yard with their dog as witness and ran off when spotted.]

I figured they hadn’t gone far so I drove down the block to track them and get them to come and pick up the poop. The man was very unpleasant. At first he denied it and threatened to throw dog poop on my car window. But, I wasn’t going to get frightened, and I said I was going to drive behind them slowly and make sure they picked it up. <emphasis added, because good LORD!>

So watch out for them. He is about 6’3”, with light brown/blonde hair, and a blue T-shirt. The girl with him is about 4’5″, looks about 12 or 13 years old, and wearing white flowered tights. Their dog is a small black dog, probably part Shi tzu or some kind of a toy breed. He had a very menacing tone. Please look out for them in case they’re headed your way.

For those in the know, this post was initiated by a listserv regular who lists her location as “on Spring Street,” and has been known to post about her cat’s irritable bowel syndrome.

Can you seriously imagine someone slowly stalking you with their car, yelling about dog poop?!

Thank goodness the BevHills comedian vigilantes were eager to take up the case. God bless the man who posted this zinger:

I’ve come back from a 30 minute patrol looking for these two menaces. I saw a couple that matches your description but all I attempted to question threatened to throw feces at me and other citizens upon continued inquiry. Potential suspects I confronted said that sometimes shit happens and if people feel unsafe we have the option to contact public safety officials. Their hands looked clean but I will remain vigilant.

 

Someone took all our Halloween Candy

Trick or TreatersApparently my delusional neighbors here in BevHills think that our bucolic avenues here are somehow exempt from the time-honored antics of Halloween.

You know the drill:

We left a very large bag full of Halloween candy on our doorstep with a note saying please take some. We have a newborn baby and so didn’t want people ringing our doorbell. Some kids just came to the door and when we went out, the whole bag had gone. The candy was there to be given away, but we feel disappointed that we had nothing to give those children because someone was selfish enough to take the whole lot.

We got hit too. Next year I am going to add a line to my “please just take a few pieces” note that says “camera surveillance in use”. Maybe that will scare them straight!
GASP! Hooligans and ruffians have invaded, because clearly they could NOT have been raised here and display such horrid manners!

Same for us.  An overflowing bowl, gone while unattended for less than 30 minutes, and before dark.  That tells me the culprits were likely accompanied by parents who were ostensibly raised better than that.  Very disappointing.

My old buddy Donna (who wrote in a post-mortem listserv email about the Gun Shots? post that I was *jealous *of her) was kind enough to chime in and make unsubstantiated claims about the nature of the mischief:

I saw several large groups of pre-teens/teens without adult supervision on Russell Rd. before dark. I got the young ones at my house after dark (with adults). They were very polite!

Thankfully, my neighbor “Henry” made my blog posting easier with this gem:

The several large groups of pre-teens/teens without adult supervision on Russell Rd. came to Circle Hill after that and REPLENISHED my empty bowl.  Some were dressed (?) as gypsies and Rajis and poop bags.

Dog poop trash can

Which reminds me, did any of you see my costume this year?

I think it was rather inspired.

Noise ordinances

ShhhhhhhRuh roh! “Donna” woke up on the grumpy side of the bed today!

Do you need a little splash of passive aggressive in your coffee?!

Just a reminder – do not use power tools or any other noisy items until after 9 AM on Saturdays and Sundays. It’s the law. I can hear you out there right now but you started at least 1/2 hour ago.