A request for hair

Now that the listserv regular “Donna” seems to have gone AWOL (Finally banned? Left to write full-time for the Zebra?!), a certain other zany regular who resides “on E. Spring” has decided to pick the up the gauntlet.

Don’t all go rushing over to her house at once, ya’ll:
I know this is an odd request, but do you have any hair to spare? It can be from a hairbrush, or recent clippings.
The creatures in my garden are eating all my lovely cucumbers and tomatoes and I was told that human hair keeps them away, so I’d like to tie as much hair near the vegetables as possible.
Thank god there isn’t a neighborhood potluck picnic in the hood because I can tell you whose salad I wouldn’t be eating….
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#TBT 2014: Squirrel Population

Squirrel with peanutsI can’t be the only one who remembers this gem from two years ago today?!

The resident troll, “Haji”, baited on the listserv with a topic near and dear…critters!

 

 

I am hoping to get ahead of the usual squirrel population boom this spring. Unfortunately two of the local hardware stores are not yet selling poison peanuts. Does anyone know if one of the larger chains carry them? I am hoping to avoid shipping costs.

Here are my favorite responses:

I typically find that bike lanes are the best squirrel deterrents.   Unless the bike lanes are really steep and the squirrels know that they can get rid of uphill bikers because they are going too slow.

Alexandria Brunswick Stew

2 fattened squirrels *
4 cups of corn kernels
4 cups diced tomatoes
4 cups sliced okra
2 cups fresh butter beans
2 sweet onions, chopped

Preparation:
Remove road debris or birdshot from squirrel. Boil squirrel until meat
falls from bones (season with salt, pepper, thyme, bay leaf, a little wine
or part broth, if desired, or use your favorite seasonings). Remove meat
from bones. Return meat to the water it was boiled in. Add vegetables,
salt, and pepper to taste. Simmer until the mixture thickens, about 1 hour.

* for the brave at heart or those wanting a more gamey flavour, add 1
grackle

Spring has sprung!

Does anybody have a meat grinder I can borrow for a day?

 

Hi Folks, Do you have a meat grinder I may borrow for a day so I can grind turkey bones and meat for my cat who has inflammatory bowel disease. Or, if you prefer, I’d be happy to come over and grind the meat and bones in your home. Thank you so much.

I was just thinking this morning, boy, it’d sure be nice to have someone stop by and grind some turkey bones in my home.  Haven’t done that in ages – miss those good ‘ol turkey grind days….

Sad cat with irritable bowel syndrome, wishing for ground up turkey meat and bones

(h/t to frequent commenter, JuJu)

Foxes at Valley and [CENSORED]

whatdoesthefoxsay
What does the fox say? [totally wishing this image was courtesy of “Wally Hallahan”]
Lock up your family!

Couldn’t let this lil’ gem slip by, what with the holiday upon us.

I am every so thankful for the never-ending distress that critters cause my neighbors.

 

Last week around 5:30am, after being woken by the bellowing of our own dog, my son watched a fox trail a woman walking a small dog past our house. The fox got too close and she picked her dog up and ran and the fox followed her out of sight.

While I don’t think anyone was in danger of being eaten, it probably wasn’t fun.

Please be sure to watch this important safety video:

 

[Note: post has been updated to remove the cross street. Fox has been placed into witness protection program.]

BevHills classic from the archives: Baby Chick/Duck for Easter?

So, uh, greetings my many new blog followers! I am glad that I am not alone in laughing my a$$ off at some of the more egregious listerv antics. So you know, my mission is to share the more hilarious posts (which can, by the way, be publicly accessed by anyone who is subscribed to the group), and NOT to be mean-spirited or rude toward anyone posting.

With that out of the way…

While we wait for the listserv to lose their mind about something else, it was suggested that we highlight some of the classics that inspired the creation of this blog.

Foghorn LeghornI sat down and made a list, off the top of my head, of at least seven crazy pants things that have happened over the last 12 months or so. The first thing that jumped to mind was the now-infamous “baby chick” post, right before Easter this year:

Does anyone know where I might get baby a baby chick or duck for Easter?? Ideally I am looking for an outfit/farm where I can purchase the egg and then return the baby a week or two after it’s hatched (granted it survives my child) where it will live a long good life. Because I have no room for a chicken or duck in the yard…. But I would love to share the learning experience with child.

Any leads would be great!
Thanks!
“Mia”
Parkway Terrace
I practically did a cartwheel when I saw this hit my inbox. This was a slam dunk to get the community sputtering mad. We do love our animals (and their poop) here in Beverley Hills, and so the neighborhood immediately lost their collective minds fast and furious on poor, misguided “Mia”.
Some of my favorite rants and snarks are copied here for your amusement (gotta love the search feature on the Yahoo listserv page!).
Kind of confused here.  Are you hoping someone will let you swipe an egg from its nest and the nesting mother and take it home in the hope that it will hatch? And then hope the little chick or duckling will survive without its mother?  Or are you trying to take a newborn chick or duckling away from its mother and hope it survives in your house without its mother for a week or so?
The pile-on continues unabated:
The little chick will probably not survive, so you will also be giving the child a lesson in cruelty and death.
I was very distressed to read “Mia’s” request for chicks. Causing animals injury and death in the name of celebrating a time intended to remind us of peace and compassion is very very sad.
And then, the thread takes a left turn when a resident gets all Dr. Science on everyone:
There is no reason that a fertilized egg needs a “mother” chicken at all.  The egg just needs to be incubated for 21 days and then the chicks need food and water after hatch.  As long as they are in a group of at least 2 to 3 chicks, they do just fine.  Many farms use this method so that their laying hens are not out of production for 3 week stints.
And then, finally, a voice of reason…
I have a bunny if you want to borrow it 😉
Easter bunnies
What are your favorite epic listserv blowout, knock down, drag outs?! Share in the comments and we’ll keep them in mind for the next Tales from the Beverley Hills Archives post!

Possum Stuck in Window Well

Awesome possumJust when you couldn’t deal with any more animal issues on the listserv, “Lulu” from Halcyon Drive has reported that her neighbor has a possum stuck in her deep window well.

Can anyone offer suggestions on who she should call to help free him?

“Gary” had this helpful response:

Just have her put something in the well that the possum can use as a ladder. It will figure it out.

I suppose it was a slightly better response than the woman who said she thought someone was giving away a free possum…