Put your fat @$$ on a road diet

Is there a listserv dedicated to inflating minor civic concerns into intractable quarrels? Asking for a friend. — BevHills listserv member

Image result for diet belt squeezeCan someone please inform this nice man about my lil’ ol blog?!

Just as the great halal butchery slaughterhouse debate died down this summer, the listserv turned their rage to a proposed “road diet” for a stretch of Seminary Road less than a mile long.

Last I checked, our bucolic hood is several miles from this road, but one would be led to believe they were putting a six-lane toll road down Old Dominion Boulevard by the uproar on the listserv.

Now, everyone is a traffic engineer and we are told to fear the evil bicycle lobby — as one member states, we’re “handing over most of our streets to bicycles.” <insert eyeroll emoji here>

Everyone’s talking about what THEY’D do if they were on the City Council, so I look forward to all the whiners’ campaigns next election. <insert second eyeroll emoji>

My personal favorite hysterical quote is about City of Alexandria’s Mayor, Justin Wilson:

We must remember all that this uncaring and irresponsive Wilson administration–to put it mildly–has done against the opinions and beliefs of the voting residents of this City.

Whether you love him or hate him, Major Wilson is not only legendary for his wonky deep-dive newsletters each month, but also his speed at responding to every text message/Facebook message/email/tweet/carrier pigeon note/scooter delivery (I kid!). Seriously, I think that guy must send some of his missives from the toilet.

Speaking of which, looks like Seminary Road is going on a diet, so it would be a great time to get back to poop complaints and maybe squirrel poisoning debates.

2 thoughts on “Put your fat @$$ on a road diet

  1. Pingback: Look out! The poors are coming! – Tales from the Beverley Hills Listserv

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