I will start by noting that my Google search history is forever ruined by the phrase “image of person throwing dog poop.”
So…it seems the ridiculously rainy spring has finally drove the residents to the brink.
Yes, that’s right, dog poop posts are back.
And this time, the poop is *airborne*.
Watch out for unpicked up dog poop. I was parking my car in front of my home a few minutes ago when I saw a couple with a small dog pooping in front of my house. They rushed off when they saw me. When I got out of the car, I saw a big blob of dog poop on the sidewalk.
[Editor’s Note: I love how the poor grammar makes it seem as though the *couple* was pooping in her yard with their dog as witness and ran off when spotted.]
I figured they hadn’t gone far so I drove down the block to track them and get them to come and pick up the poop. The man was very unpleasant. At first he denied it and threatened to throw dog poop on my car window. But, I wasn’t going to get frightened, and I said I was going to drive behind them slowly and make sure they picked it up. <emphasis added, because good LORD!>
So watch out for them. He is about 6’3”, with light brown/blonde hair, and a blue T-shirt. The girl with him is about 4’5″, looks about 12 or 13 years old, and wearing white flowered tights. Their dog is a small black dog, probably part Shi tzu or some kind of a toy breed. He had a very menacing tone. Please look out for them in case they’re headed your way.
For those in the know, this post was initiated by a listserv regular who lists her location as “on Spring Street,” and has been known to post about her cat’s irritable bowel syndrome.
Can you seriously imagine someone slowly stalking you with their car, yelling about dog poop?!
Thank goodness the BevHills comedian vigilantes were eager to take up the case. God bless the man who posted this zinger:
I’ve come back from a 30 minute patrol looking for these two menaces. I saw a couple that matches your description but all I attempted to question threatened to throw feces at me and other citizens upon continued inquiry. Potential suspects I confronted said that sometimes shit happens and if people feel unsafe we have the option to contact public safety officials. Their hands looked clean but I will remain vigilant.