RETRACTION: Tales of BH author

AnonymousPour yourself a *big* glass of wine, friends…

Seems that Lulu and Donna got rather offended at me posting their comments. They blew up the listserv after reading the Gun Shots? post, and began a quest to find out who was writing this blog.

I am truly sorry that a poor neighbor, “Amy”,  bore the brunt of their witch hunt. But h/t to Lulu, who pretty much wrote this blog post for me:

After quite a flurry of activity, it has come to my attention that my source on the “outing” of the Tales of Beverley Hills Listserv incorrectly identified Amy as the authoress of this blog. I guess we need to chalk this up to one giant Facebook misunderstanding. I am very sorry. Please do not send her nasty emails.

To whomever is truly authoring this blog, I guess your next entry has just written itself.

Lulu dug a big hole, because three hours later, she continues with mea culpas, and threats:

1) For anyone who did not see the retraction I posted earlier this evening, I repeat, Amy has nothing to do with the Beverley Hills blog. I blame it on a source with poor reading comprehension. If you feel the need to write hate mail, please direct it at me, not at Amy. I have spoken to her. She is a kind and thoughtful person, and had nothing to do with the blog AT ALL.

2) Can we collectively figure out who is writing said blog? It is so mean-spirited. Surely, someone with advanced technical skills can figure this out?

“I blame it on a source with poor reading comprehension”. Ummkay….

In all seriousness, if you don’t want to show up on this blog for some lighthearted joking about listserv posts that get out of control…well, I’ll let “Gina” explain, who aptly responded with:

Or maybe we could stop writing things that are blog worthy.

Yep.

Update on Oakville Triangle/ Rte 1W Small Area Plan

Mad mapIt’s a twofer this week, friends!

There’s a lot going on in the hood right now. Some folks are legitimately trying to learn more about a somewhat controversial, large land-use project. Some folks are complaining about barking dogs. Some are calling the listserv instead of the police when they hear shots fired. And some are sputtering mad and confused that Comcast has gotten rid of 200 sh*tty channels you weren’t watching anyway.

I seriously cannot make this stuff up.

Anyhoooo, a for those of you who read the listserv more than once a year, you probably have seen a lot of posts from a certain “Donna”. She has taken to having private emails with a city representative about this land use project, and then posts them on the listserv with LOTS of additional dismissive commentary that the rep isn’t privvy to seeing (passive aggressive much?!).

One of the maybe 10 emails Donna has posted so far began like this:

Councilman Wilson has responded to me and I have forwarded his responses to the listserv.  He has sent a copy of the 174 page plan link which I forwarded. On pg. 117 is a picture of the Glebe Rd. intersection. He has placed blame for the current problems on those in office in 1999 who put the original plan in place without consideration for the existing neighborhood.

Ok, pretty harmless stuff, minus the aforementioned end-around snarking on private emails from Mr. Wilson.

But wait! This lil’ gem arrived in my inbox not 5 minutes ago:

Donna, thank you for continuing to publicly air your correspondence with Mr. Wilson. Perhaps you could channel this into another one of your “what bugs me” columns instead of filling up my email inbox with your complaints.

Oooooooo. BURN. Everybody knows that Donna writes for one of those local papers that they fling on your lawn even though you didn’t ask for it, and mostly goes straight into my recycle bin, along with bags of my neighbors’ stinky dog poop (bwahahaha). So, this is a pretty specific jab at ol’ Donna.

But, Donna’s got friends, and they have her back:

— and perhaps you would be willing to identify yourself to the rest of us?
“Nina”, Cameron Mills Rd
Nina I am happy to identify myself. I’m your neighbor on Cameron Mills.
 And I’m getting tired to the volume of crap on the listserv. People berating each other for not calling the police when they hear shots fired. People broadcasting to the entire neighborhood that someone is violating a noise ordinance (and in a passive aggressive manor to boot) — especially when the person making the noise couldn’t possibly be reading the listserv while making said noise. People who think it’s their right to complain about dog poop to the entire neighborhood. People who feel the need to complain to the ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD that they didn’t read the Comcast notice and are upset they need to change the channel on their DVR.
For goodness sake, remember that there are SEVERAL THOUSAND subscribers to the listserv. Just because you can send an email to everyone doesn’t mean you should.

Bravo, neighbor! If you know whoever posted this gem, please direct him/her to my humble blog, will ya? They would be a lovely contributor for our growing hilarious commenters.

[Update 1: Mad props to “Jenna”, who took the Comcast dig in stride:]  

Ouch. Ok that hurt. I was simply trying to figure out if I was the ONLY ComCrap customer having issues. Can’t wait for the holiday-lights-big-blow-up-stuff-on-the-lawn after February discussions to come! Sorry.

[Update 2: Donna gets miffed at being called out for her columns:]

And I would find it more pleasant for writers to respect the listserv by spelling/editing their messages. — Donna

Gun shots?

Yosemite Sam
Pew pew!

Nothing gets the listserv fired up (see what I did there?!) as much as potential mortal peril in our bucolic hood.

So naturally, there was concern late last night about potential shots fired. And naturally, the comments went from zero to 60 in an instant.

Did anybody just hear what sounded like two gunshots?
Lulu on Beverley

Good thinking posting that, Lulu. That’s what you want to do when you feel unsafe…LISTSERV TO THE RESCUE!

Yes here in franklin court too. Has someone called the police? If not I will.
Lara

At this point, I am imagining these two women cowering in their living rooms, furiously typing out messages to the listserv and waiting for one of the “regulars” to swoop in and save them.

Seriously?? Neither of you had called the police???????

BOOM. Commence throw down. Lulu defends her original email:

Settle down. Police were already responding by the time I hit send on my original post. Still not sure what happened. We couldn’t decipher the conversation happening on our police scanner app.

I’m sorry…WHA?! So you are not calling the police, but writing the listserv and listening to a police scanner (there’s an app for that?!).

Like clockwork, the snarky peacekeepers rear their heads.

Seriously – simmer down. What good does this berating do? Keep it to yourself.

Followed shortly by:

Yes we called the police, you lunatic.

Ah, civil discourse at its finest. The kicker is I still don’t know if actual shots were fired or not.